Bar/Bat Mitzvah Twinning Programs
One Family encourages teenagers who reach the age of Bar or Bat Mitzvah to dedicate their simcha to helping terror victims. With a donation of $2000, they can twin with a terror victim their own age, and help them celebrate their own Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or provide other assistance to them and their families.
Why should you consider Twinning:
- Twinning with a victim family offers an opportunity to connect on a deeper level, to really experience and to help diminish their suffering.
- You will find that they will become a part of your own family.
- Twinning is a true mitzvah that offers you the opportunity to give of yourself in a really meaningful way.
"Psychological healing is a complex process that takes place on both an emotional and physical level," says Melanie Nesbitt, a Registered Dance Movement and Expressive Arts Therapist, and coordinator of One Family Canada’s Twinning Program.
The program grew out of an initial connection between Holy Blossom Temple and 6 members of the Zinger family, whom they adopted in 2002 after the husband, Baruch, was murdered after dropping off his son’s friend at a bus stop.
"When someone has been traumatized and can’t reach out, it’s important that they don’t feel isolated or alone," says Nesbitt. Through One Family, many hands are there to ‘touch’ terror victims, when and if they’re ready," she adds.
"When we got to Israel," says Nesbitt, "we reinforce the concept that you’re not alone, by offering victims the opportunity to connect and bond with a support network outside the family. Everyone has had the experience of loss," says Nesbitt.
How do victims of terror learn to cope under such incredible odds? They must contend daily with poverty, physical and emotional issues, all while living in a war-torn country. There is no sense of normalcy in Israel. Coming from Canada, where life is so secure, we can’t fully understand what they have to deal with all the time.
“Sometimes the victims come here and a kind of ‘reverse healing’ takes place, as they share their stories and experiences with us. Everyone has had the experience of loss, and by hearing about what they have had to cope with, our sense of peoplehood is strengthened,” adds Nesbitt.
Personal Stories:
By Jake Perlmutter
My family and I were on a trip to Israel and thought this would be the appropriate time to see my bar mitzvah twin, Kobi Levy. Since we were in Jerusalem for five days on our trip we called One Family and they arranged for us to meet.
I was very excited about meeting Kobi but knew it would be difficult to communicate because of the language barrier. His mother spoke close to perfect English and translated for us as much as possible. Although Kobi did speak more English than I can Hebrew, when he took me to show me his computer games it was a challenge to discuss about the game and what was going on. Despite this, it was a great experience meeting Kobi and I am very pleased I even had a chance to do something like this.
Letter from Or Levi to her Twin, Kate Sutton:
Dear Kate,
My name is Or Levi. I’m just finishing 6th grade in the elementary school of Science and Judaism in Hadera.
I would very much love to meet you up close and personal. I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself. I love to sing and write songs. I love to draw, and travel a lot. I have a younger sister named Schachar; she’s in 5th grade and we learn in the same school. I like to watch television as well. My favourite subject to learn is English. I really like animals as well: dogs, fish, turtles, various pets.
As you probably know, my bat-mitzvah date had already passed and I didn’t celebrate it the way I wanted to. I didn’t celebrate it with my family at all, but I had a party in school that my fellow students and teachers threw for me. G-d willing, I plan on celebrating my bat-mitzvah with my family and friends this upcoming month by having a big party. I want there to be fireworks, a barbecue and assorted salads. I especially want my favourite food, mashed potatoes, being served in the celebration. I plan on singing and giving a big speech as well. My 2 best friends are Nitzan and Rina.
I’m an orphan. My mother, Ayala (Z’’L), was murdered in a terrorist shooting at the public library of Hadera on October 28, 2001. I’m being raised by my father, Rachamim.
I’m very grateful for your generosity for now I can celebrate my bat-mitzvah as I had always wished to do so. Now you know many things about me and I’d love to ask you some questions as well:
- How is life like where you live?
- When is your bat mitzvah?
- What are your hobbies?
- What are your likes/dislikes
- Do you have an e-mail address?
- Which animals do you like?
- How many brothers & sisters do you have? What are their names?
- What are your parents’ names
- Can you send me pictures of your bat mitzvah (if you already celebrated it?) I’ll send you pictures of mine after I’ve celebrated it.
Best wishes and once again, than you for everything!
Or Levi
Perlmutter and Hanson Families visit with their Twins in Israel
If you’re considering twinning with an individual, the experience of the Perlmutter and Hanson families will inspire you to do so.
The Perlmutters and the Hansons traveled together to Israel in December, 2007, where they visited Jake Perlmutter’s Bar Mitzvah twin, Kobi Levy, and Russell Hanson’s twin, Tzur. Kobi’s sister had previously been killed in a terrorist attack and Tzur himself had been shot in the head, and suffered from reduced mobility and epilepsy.
"Overall, the trip and the visit with Kobi was an incredible experience for our whole family," said Dawn Perlmutter, Jake’s mother. "We decided to twin because we had supported One Family before and Jake thought it would be great to use some of his Bar Mitzvah money to help a boy from One Family," she added. "Both Jake and Kobi had their Bar Mitzvahs around the same time, and he was interested in seeing who he was helping," said Dawn.
"Because Tzur himself had been a victim and had overcome such obstacles, it made the experience feel so real," said Karen Hanson, Russell’s mother. Russell celebrated his Bar Mitzvah on December 24, 2007 in Israel, and on January 26, 2008 in Toronto.
"We told our Bar Mitzvah guests about what we were doing and as a result many people made donations," she said, adding, "We thought it would give Russell more of a connection to meet his twin. Both Russell and Tzur have the same birthday and had the same Torah portion. It was wonderful meeting his parents, and at no time did we feel awkward – on the contrary, it was a great experience."
If you have twinned with a victim or family and would like to share your story or experience, please contact Louise at 416.644.4955, louise@onefamilyfund.ca.
